SELF LOVE- PSYCHOLOGICAL VIEW BY TREVOR AND CHARLES.

SELF LOVE- PSYCHOLOGICAL VIEW.

 

Self love is a very popular term that is being used mostly in normal conversations.I will explain some of the ways that can help ‘YOU’ to improve on accepting who you are.

 It is an inborn pattern by which one’s own welfare or well being, especially an excessive regard for one’s own benefits.It is something that is put in us at a young age from our parents, and we grow with that love and respect for ourselves and then we instill it again in our own children. It is the foundational feeling that you feel if you are raised in a healthy environment with parents who make their child to feel important and unconditionally loved. Having ‘self-love’ does not mean you are 100% perfect, you can also make mistakes and have bad relationships but you have to deal with those mistakes and affairs that are bad.

 We can describe it as accepting the ‘real you’ the good, the bad, the ugly, the sexy and everything that has to do with ‘You’.

You should not expect to be loved or to love someone when you do not love yourself as the bible says ‘love your neighbor as YOU love yourself’. First identify yourself who you are, what you like and what you do not like and start to fall in love with that, if there is anything that need your attention to correct you should deal with it as soon as possible before it damage you, if it’s something that can not be corrected just leave it like, move on with your life and appreciate it as it is.

Most of the people are suffering from the absence of self-love because of the mistakes they have made in the past. You will notice that there is no self love when you shift the love for ‘YOURSELF’ to love ‘OTHERS’, they will do this by focusing on the needs of other over their own, it seems right but it’s inappropriate because it makes them feel less value than others they are taking care of. This usually happens to parents when they try to shift the love for themselves to love their children, they is love for children(your loved ones) and they is love for yourself. It also happen for those in sexual relationships, the other part will sacrifice all they have to make their partners happy on the other hand they will be destroying themselves, they are only concerned with their partners happiness.

I am not saying you should not take care of your child or those in sexual relationships should not please their partners. Take care of you child but make sure you are not eliminating the ‘self love’ in you because it will also damage your child if they see you suffering, they will then try to make you happy and which will cause them to lose the self love in them also.

 For those in sexual relationships, i will first give you my example, 2 years ago i almost died after a heart break. I sacrificed a lot for that relationship to work out, i had completely neglected my own needs and had given away my power and my responsibility. I spent all the time trying to make someone happy and that ‘self love’ faded away, it took me a lot of time to heal. Love your partners but first identify there is love in ‘you’ because you can not love someone if you do not love someone.When you are happy yourself, it’s good to be with someone. The absence of self love is a sign that you are not yet ready to be wit someone. .If your self-esteem is high, your partner will be happier too.

 5 WAYS TO START LOVING YOURSELF.

1)     Stop pretending to be someone.

      The biggest problem that you may face is to try to imitate or copy

      someone’s life style or personality. You should know that there is no

      better person like you, we were all created in the image of God but we

      are unique. If you copy someone’s lifestyle or personality, it means you  

      you are no longer living your life but that person’s life. When God 

     created you, He gave you your own destiny or purpose to live and you

     have to fulfill it.

2)  STOP COMPETING WITH ANYONE.

     There is no need to compete with anyone, we are not living to compete  

     but to complete, if you see someone succeeding it’s just a matter of time

     your time is also coming. You should make it your advantage by asking

     them how they have made it to be where they are. As i have said on

     way number 1, we have different goals/purposes, if you see someone

    succeeding they are just fulfilling their purpose, work on yours and do not

    be jealous when someone achieved something, be happy for them and

    take notes.

3) MASTER YOUR BAD SIDE MORE THAN YOUR GOOD SIDE

   First identify your bad side or weaknesses more more than your strength

   and work out on them and then concentrate on your good side by doing

   this you are avoiding problems that may arise and interrupt your progress

   on something.

4)SPEND AS MUCH TIME AS YOU CAN ALONE TRYING TO BUILD YOURSELF AND THEN LOOK FOR A PARTNER AFTER YOU FULLY LOVE YOURSELF.

5) MAKE A ‘WHATS WORKING FOR ME LIST’.